The base of this image is a photograph taken with timed camera. Through this image, I am making an attempt to explore the sense of my father and myself self through art-making.
My father passed away when I was a child. In order to help me cope with this enormous tragedy the adults in the house decided that it is best for me to not interact with anything that remotely reminds me of him.
Soon, his photographs disappeared from our walls, his clothes left the closet and all our furnitures moved around. The house looked terribly different while everyone simply stopped talking about him around me.?
For better or for worse, this technique worked. Over the next several years, life moved faster than ever, and I did not think about him at all. The life he lived in my memories withered away.
About ten or so years later, for the first time ever, I found a few of my father’s belongings. It included a film camera, some rotten films and most intriguingly, a framed portrait of him. An almost stranger, wearing all formal, staring directly at me.
I could tell how I grew up to have almost the same facial features and perhaps shared similar interests too. I immediately started tracing back my memories of him and realized there isn’t anything concrete. I could not tell for sure if my memories of him were real or made up. To this day, I cannot tell anything for sure. That was perhaps the first time in my life when I sensed the great sense of hopelessness and void that overwhelms my life to this day.
Wanting to be closer to him, processing this void and expressing his identity through myself, I recreated his image through this self-portrait.